....life as a single mom

9/11/2001

2011-09-11T11:09:00.000-06:00

I woke up early, knowing it was going to be a busy day. I was on day 2 of constructing a brand new Sam Goody store at the Military Circle Mall in Norfolk, Virginia. I had to be there at 6:00 am to let in the other 8 managers from other stores and also my boss who was there to help. I got up, tried to wake Matt up so I could wish him a happy birthday before leaving for work. He had several corporate visitors from his work coming today, so we knew with me working late to get the new store together, and his corporate visitors in town, it would be late before we could celebrate his birthday. I kissed him goodbye, wished him a happy birthday, and left for work.

There was so much work to do at the store, and everyone got to work right away. Besides the other managers and my boss, there were new employees there helping to get stuff organized. We had CD, DVD, and movie racks to assemble, about 500+ boxes of music and movies to organize, alphabetize, and put away, along with construction still being done in the store. Since it was a brand new store, the outside of the store was blocked off, so it felt like we were cut off from the world. We couldn't see out to the mall, and we didn't even have the phone line for the store set up yet.

We were all busy working, and the construction foreman kept getting calls from his mom on his cell phone. Since we had so much to do, he kept ignoring the call. After the 4th call I remember him apologizing to Ed (my boss) and I, and he took the call. We could hear crying in the background, and his face went completely white. His mom lived in Pennsylvania, and she was outside weeding her garden when a huge plane flew over her and crashed in the distance. She saw the last plane crash and had no idea what was going on.

Thinking it was just a crazy freak accident, he left to calm her down on the phone, and we got back to work.

Then a security guard came to our back entrance and told us we had to leave, they were shutting down the mall. My boss, being stubborn and knowing he only had a few days to help get the store open, told him we would leave. Once the security guard left, Ed turned to us and told us to keep working. We had too much to get done and couldn't leave. A manager who was there to help decided we needed music, and went to his car to grab his radio. He turned on the radio and instead of finding music, we heard horrific tales of planes crashing into buildings, people dying, and the nation in terror. It was the first time I remember being really scared.

Security came again, and told us we needed to get out NOW. Virginia has 5 major military bases, and we were in the heart of them all. Everything closed down that day. As I drove home I saw grocery stores closed, gas stations closed, and there was not a car on the freeway. It took me about 30 minutes to get to my apartment in Virginia Beach, and when I got home I turned on the television and watched everything being re-played on the television. It was horrible.

I called Matt right when I got home on his cell phone. (Can't believe I didn't have one!) He was stuck in Hampton, Virginia and didn't know when he was going to get home. The Hampton tunnel was closed (it is a tunnel about 2 miles long that goes under the ocean and is the fastest way to get from Hampton to Virginia Beach). He had his corporate visitors with him, and didn't know when he would be getting home. Other roads and tunnels were closed due to being so close to military bases, and Washington D.C. I spent the rest of my day talking to family, assuring them we were fine, and waiting for my husband to get home.

Finally the tunnel opened later that night, so with the hope Matt would get home soon I started cooking dinner, made him a birthday cake, and waited.

So many people lost their lives, ordinary people became heroes, and that day was my first realization that I made a huge mistake in marrying Matt. Instead of coming home to his wife, on his birthday, he decided to stay out and play with his corporate friends. I gave up waiting up for him at about 11 pm, and since I got the ok to start working on the store again the next day, I took some sleeping pills and fell asleep.

Sometimes you just gotta grin and bear it.....

2011-09-08T20:07:00.007-06:00

I am so glad it is September! I am ready for 2011 to be over with already. This year has really sucked, and in an effort to get through the next couple of months, I am focusing on the happy moments of 2011. I have been blessed in so many different ways.... and I really have a lot to be grateful for. So even though I still have no idea what is going on with a lot of different things, I feel like life is going to settle down soon.

As you may know, I am a blond in so many ways. My good friend Anna (the one who whips me into shape) gives my kids swim lessons at our condo swimming pool. Well, Nathan was all dressed up in rain boots, swim trunks, and a vest. I couldn't resist taking his picture! The first picture is take two. I didn't realize how bad the first picture was until I looked at it....

Below is picture #1. Nathan couldn't understand why I was laughing as I reviewed the picture and told him I had to re-take it. I am such a nerd. But my cute friend Anna is in the background. She rocks :)

Anna has been a huge blessing to me. I have known her for around four years, and now we are totally bff's. We work out every day, she whips me into shape, but she has also helped me stay focused on what is important. One day we were talking (after a crazy sprint training outside) about trials of life and so on. After a heartfelt chat about how I need to start going to church again, she promised to send me a scripture every night to read, and she HAS KEPT HER PROMISE! Even though I am still struggling a bit, Anna has been a huge blessing to me in so many different ways. I am so thankful she knew exactly what kind of friend I needed...I love you Anna!

I love these crazy kids

The picture above is Tori with my friend Katie. Katie and her husband Eldin have been in the ward as long as I have (8 Years!). I was in YW and Eldin was YM President, so I have known him for a long time, but never really knew Katie. Last year when I called as YW President, I had a feeling I needed Katie in the presidency. BEST DECISION EVER! Katie was so helpful so many times in YW, and I really appreciated her help. This year, I have come to know her a lot more as a friend. She asked me to join her in a Flash Mob, and it has been so much fun! Her husband Eldin was recently called to be the bishop, and that shows how truly awesome she is. Thank you Katie, for getting me involved in something that brought me happiness when I really needed it! Love you Katie :)

Isn't Rob Thomas HOT? That's all I have to say about him.

I love my SISTA WIVEZ! Being in a fake karaoke band is the best thing ever. We have so much fun together, and I definitely needed some happy distractions.

I love that Share and I can sing songs from Glee until our voices die, I can't believe she took me to a Def Leppard concert for my birthday (it was so awesome!!) and I can't believe she is still my BFF after I rant and rave and cry and scream and curse. Love you Share :)

I am thankful for Shanna, who always has an ear to listen to me whine. If you know Shanna, you know she lights up a room with her smile, and her personality. We have had so much fun doing water aerobics on Tuesdays and I love that we can sing for hours in my car late at night. Love you Shanna!

I am thankful for my family. I love that June is so sweet, and is always offering her house for us in case we need it. I love that Misty always knows the right thing to say to me when I am upset. I love that Eve shows up with the kids favorite treats because she knows I can't buy them. I don't love that my sis Debbie lives so far away... but I love that she went through horrible things as a child... along with our brother Alan... and she is an amazing mom and person. I love that Alan can make me laugh until I cry, and I love that he is starting to open his heart to us more and more. I love my mom for being crazy, and not boring. She brings so much laughter to our lives....and doesn't mind too much when we mock her. Love you family :)

The other day I found a mother's day card my friend Sonne gave me. I read it, cried, read it again, and cried some more. I am thankful for a thoughtful friend who somehow knew I needed kind words. Love you Sonne :)

And I love that my ex-husband is a great dad. We have been divorced for 7 years, and he has never missed a child support payment, and he takes the kids 2 nights a week because he wants to. I love that he is my EX. ha ha.

the end

Learning lessons in life

2011-04-16T19:55:00.003-06:00

Since not having a job, and being stressed about life, I became pretty angry over so many different things.

1. I am mad that Heavenly Father made men stupid, so they wouldn't ever want to get married. Then as women we are taught to be mothers and wives but then when we get to the marrying age it's like we get laughed and at he says, "ha ha, never mind! There aren't any worthy men to marry you and now you have to be alone for your mortal life."

2. I am angry that I was given the hormones of a man, then married a man with no hormones, then got divorced and that man decided he may actually like me, but only as a side fling.

3. I am angry that I have been living life the way I should, was finally going to be able to pay off a bunch of bills and be a little stressed about life, and I was fired (over something so weird!) causing me to be worse off then I was before.

4. I am angry that anxiety never ends. I had anxiety over taking care of my family, wondering when I will be kicked out of my house, wondering if I will never find a decent job. I finally get that job, Nathan gets sick, and the anxiety comes back that I will be up with my child all night and still have to work an entire day without passing out. I have anxiety that I will miss all these precious moments with my children that I have enjoyed for the past five months.

5. I HATE that my babysitter (even though I love her) will now spend more waking hours with my children than I will.

When I felt like I couldn't handle life anymore I asked a friend for a Priesthood blessing. In the blessing I did not get confirmation that everything would be OK. Instead I was told to think about what I needed to learn from this experience. In thinking about it over the past few months, this is what I have decided. Up in heaven, our Heavenly Father told us EXACTLY what to expect when we came down. He told us we would have trials, misery, frustration, depression, financial stress, heartbreak, even suicidal thoughts, and he did not make it sound easy. In fact, I am pretty sure he made it sound much, much, worse. And guess what? I decided to come down to earth anyway, knowing all this would happen. I am even pretty sure I probably was happy to be born in this time, in this situation, to the problems I would face. I have experienced childbirth, the joys of being a mom, and even for a while the joys of being happily married.

These next few years I feel are going to be the hardest for me. I need to pay off student loans, figure out what to do about my house, and fix my mental and physical health while raising two children who also need a lot from me. The one thing I know for sure is Heavenly Father is on my side, and I know I cannot do this without his help. He is the one person I REALLY need by my side right now. I am scared to start a new job, I am scared to face the future. I am frightened to think of what will happen in the next few years, but the last five months have been so awful I feel like I can face anything now.

Fun, relaxing, positive weekend.

2011-04-10T19:20:00.007-06:00

Share needed to get to Pocatello and I decided to take a trip with her and the kids to get away for a little hotel swim vacation. We stayed at the Ameritel Inn in Pocatello, and they have the best pool/hot tub! We swam Friday, 3 times Saturday, and again Sunday morning. It was so relaxing, fun, and nice to get away. While we were in Pocatello, I decided to call my dad and see him in Roberts. I hadn't seen or talked to him in almost six years, and honestly it was a great break. I wanted my kids to meet him and figured might as well do it now.

I love that my kids love to swim!

On the Menan Buttes in Menan, Idaho. Nathan thought it would be cool to climb up an inactive volcano. Uncle Alan, Nathan, Tori and Grandmpa Frislie.

Nathan and grandpa

Dad really wanted to take my picture with Nathan. The property we lived on in Menan, Idaho. This rock was so fun to play on! It had Indian carvings and all kinds of trails. The people who live there now blew up the rock and there is about 1/4 of it left.

My dad gave me some of his homemade chocolate. It has molasses, honey, cocoa, and raspberry in it. He was nice enough to scrape the inch of mold off the top before he put it in cups for me.

Nathan trying to chop wood like grandpa.

Having fun at grandpa's in Roberts. On the ride home....two very tired little kids.

The trip was a huge success, and it was nice seeing my dad again. In fact, he called me to tell me thanks for coming to see him. There wasn't too much weirdness....he gave me sulfur water, and mud (he claims it will take all the ugly brown spots off my face) he spoke of a few conspiracies and things but thanks to the kids I was able to get distracted often. I decided I want my kids to know their grandpa, and we can visit him every few months without too much craziness. It was a good, positive experience with my dad.

My little sass

2011-02-14T21:49:00.003-07:00

Tori has a problem with getting urinary tract infections often. She would get one about every three months, then she went for almost a year without any problems. Now it is back, and her Dr. decided to proceed with a VCUG and an ultrasound to check for other problems. Well, her right kidney is a lot smaller than the left and it has a lot of scar tissue. Not sure where the scar tissue is from, but Tori did a great job of staying still and not complaining too much. She cried a little they did the bladder fill test, but overall she was such a trooper. Now we wait for our Dr. to call and see what we should do about her damaged kidney. She will definitely be on medicine every day for a year or two, but the damaged kidney is another problem I wasn't expecting. I wasn't really worried until Matt called me and told me he was freaking out. I am glad he is a great dad but of course since he is worried, now I am. It will take a few days for Dr. Havlik to get the results and determine what action is best, but the good thing is I LOVE Dr. Havlik and completely trust his opinion.
I am glad, again, for not having to work so I can do all this Dr. stuff without worrying about getting work off.

sunshine and daisies

2011-02-10T22:35:00.003-07:00

There are a few things that give me instant happiness, besides my kids.

1. Mountain Dew 2. sunshine 3. daisies

Today the sun was shining through a few clouds, and it was a beautiful sight. I am also really excited to plant daisies and more lilies in my backyard.

Mmmm...spinach

2011-02-10T22:20:00.002-07:00

After several experiments I have finally mastered my spinach smoothie. I use 1-2 c spinach, and 1 c orange juice and blend until it's green and looks gross. Then I add the Greek yogurt, fruit, and additional water if it needs more liquid. Greek yogurt is very good for you, but the regular non-flavored kind tastes like ricotta cheese. In a smoothie, it is so gross so the orange juice helps it taste much much better. I can't live without these anymore (or at least I don't want to right now). I highly recommend them!

Life sucks :(

2011-02-08T22:32:00.002-07:00

Lately I have felt incredibly overwhelmed by all the stuff going on and not going on in my life. Every week this year I have had a major problem that ends up costing me hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars. I am tired of stress, tired of not sleeping, tired of anxiety, tired of being a single mom, tired of wondering when I will be kicked out of my house, tired of not knowing what the future holds for my kids and I. Sunday I was fed up. I have already been staying away from church, because if one person tells me to keep my head up I will probably punch them in the face. Some of these "divine plans" for us seem to be a load of crap. Well, I decided to just check on the blog of a person I know and think the world of. She is amazingly strong, even with all the horrible things she goes through. I am still going to be angry with life for a while, but if I ever feel down on life I will think of Erin and everything she has gone through.
Check out her blog:
www.booferd.blogspot.com

Rambling...

2011-02-03T22:58:00.002-07:00

A few months ago I decided to get out more and attempt to date a little. I have learned quite a lot in the past few months, once again making me hate the dating scene. My first problem is panicking when guys want to be perverts. An instant flag goes up inside of me and I automatically worry this guy is into porn, will be a cheating jerk, and I sink back into a paranoid state of mind. The second problem is apparently a lot of people on the dating scene are really into skype sex, naked picture messaging, blow jobs for fun, and all kinds of other things. These things alone make me want to scream. Why can't women be appreciated like they should? And why can't a guy pull his head out of his ass long enough to realize if he actually was a man, took a girl to be sealed to in the temple, he could get all of that, plus more! (sorry for the language, I am really not into watching my mouth lately)
But the biggest problem I have with dating is REJECTION, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER.... Prior to being married I was set up on a lot of blind dates. Some went well, but most did not. And this was not on my end. I realize now why I hate dating so much. In December I went out with a friend. The whole time she was getting asked to dance, I was sitting on the sideline not getting asked to dance. While I sit there, watching lots of guys not dancing, and me being pretty much the only option left, the only thing going through my mind is obviously I am not pretty enough, or I am too fat, or I am a huge freak. Not even the nerdy, weird guys ask me to dance. It was 100% rejection all the way around. No matter what friends say, no matter what I believe, every rejection is a huge self esteem crasher. It makes me want to tell all guys to go to hell and never date again.
Plus being married to a cheating bastard didn't really help. It's like every day he is waking up, looking at me, and hoping he finds someone better because I was not interesting enough, or pretty enough, or fun enough for him.
Being married in the temple to someone is such a huge blessing. How amazing would it be knowing that I am married to someone who CHOSE me, and wants to STAY with me because he LOVES me for who I am? And EVERY DAY, no matter what is going on, subconsciously he decides to still be with me, because there is not a single woman on the earth who he would rather be with.
Rejection is tough. I had a priesthood blessing the other night, and over and over I get the same thing. Be patient, and remember your friends and family love you. I appreciate this, I really do. But the honest truth is, no matter how good I feel about myself, there is nothing worse than being passed by over and over by hot guys, nerdy guys, ugly guys, all the time.

I LOVE being a MOM!

2010-12-13T22:06:00.003-07:00

Last week I was approved for unemployment, and I am really loving life. I am such a pessimist and since I have always wanted to experience being a stay at home mom.,I figure nothing will ever work out like I want and I would have to get a job FAST. So I started praying, and Patti (the lady I am living with) suggested going to the temple. I kept asking Heavenly Father to please allow me this one chance to enjoy my kids. When I received the notice that I would start getting unemployment I cried, and my faith in Heavenly Father grew immensely again. It is sad how easy it is to quit trusting in Heavenly Father when things do not go my way. I am really thankful for this experience! Tori and I had a great day today. We shopped for invitations for her birthday party then delivered them. Next we had lunch with my good friend Amber and her kids, then we picked Nathan up from school and listened to Christmas music at home. Misty is going to visit next week, and I can't wait! Having her here is the best Christmas present I could have. I really miss her. Tonight I was in a crappy mood when I was talking to her on the phone. As soon as I hung up I realized what I was truly stressed about, and it had nothing to do with what I was venting about to her. Sometimes I really don't like being a girl. Stupid girl hormones and all that crap. But I am thankful for my family, and my friends, and my Heavenly Father. And I really LOVE my new haircut. I must say, once I lose a few pounds I am sure going to be a babe! ; ) Okay, I already am a babe. I just need a bit of "toning".

Changes

2010-11-22T20:45:00.003-07:00

This year certainly hasn't been the best, but there have been so many good things that happen even when everything else is so chaotic! Getting fired definitely hasn't been the highlight of the year but it has been a huge blessing in a weird way. I get to be a mom for a little while, which is the only job I have ever wanted. The new housing situation is working out far better than I could have imagined. Patti is happy to have us around, and she thinks it is wonderful I get to be a mom for a while. She even encouraged me to take as much time off as I could before I get another job again. The kids are loving the new house and our new ward is very friendly. It is still weird not having a calling. I thought I would really enjoy it but the first Sunday the YW came into Relief Society for opening exercises I cried. I sure do love the YW program, and I really miss it! Life goes on. I am so thankful for my cute and crazy kids. Spending time with Tori while Nathan is at school has been so much fun. She is so funny, and entertains me all day long. I need to find a way to get some one-on-one time with Nathan too since he is at school.

And I sure love my Sista Wives!!! Being in a fake karaoke band is truly the best entertainment ever!!! What started out as a way to pass time has turned into something I look forward to every Wednesday. Lisa, Shaleece, Kara, Share and I have so much fun when we are together! I sure do love these girls, they are now part of my extended family.

Thanks to all of my friends who showed so much concern for me over the past few weeks. Several different struggles were so much easier because of my you! And to my dear Shanna, who is always supportive and willing to listen to all my babbling...I love you! Thanks for always cheering me up.

I LOVE getting waxed!!!!

2010-11-03T11:01:00.002-06:00

I have a new obsession...and it is awesome!! My friend Stephanie has been doing my hair for a while, and once in a while I have her wax my eyebrows, upper lip, the basics. Well my goal is to get fit, and have a bikini body when I go to see Misty in the Dominican Republic. Not that I will wear a bikini but I want to look fantastic. So I have been waxing my underarms, and most recently I have been waxing my nose hairs and my bikini line. It sure did hurt, but I love it!!! So now every two weeks I am going to get a complete wax overhaul and since the actual hair folicles are removed I have a lot less hair growing back!!! So if you have ever wanted to get your "hoo hoo" waxed just do it!

Facebook... :(

2010-11-02T12:50:00.002-06:00

I cancelled my Facebook account today. I need to clear my head and get back to sanity. Hopefully it happens soon!!!! :)

Summer is over...

2010-09-23T18:23:00.006-06:00

I am always sad when summer is over. It means no more Lagoon, no more swimming outdoors, and no more playing for long hours at the park. Well, this year has been completely different. I decided to save money so I didn't get Lagoon passes, my dear Share had a life changing experience, I lost Misty to the Dominican Republic, and I am selling my house. This year I am glad summer is over!

We had family pictures done before Misty left.

Stephanie and Weston, who are in my ward, manage a Cookie Cutters salon in Lehi. I think the kids like this better than Lagoon. They love Stephanie and Weston, and they get a balloon.

We hung out with Misty and her family before they moved. It was nice to see her so much before they left.

Nathan, Elizabeth and Glen showing some skillz

I think Misty is a nut.

Gotta love Ihop!

I sure do think Nathan is adorable

This summer Nathan had the worst allergies ever. His eyes were constantly red and swollen, and it seems like I was giving him medicine constantly. Well, little drama queen Tori was sad Nathan was getting all the attention. So one night she got a wet washcloth, laid down on the bed, and complained about her "allergies". So every night I had to give them both washcloths for their eyes. She is such a nut.

The best thing about moving is next year I can take the kids on fun vacations! I am going to see Misty in the Dominican Republic in February or March, and since Matt is REFUSING to let me take the kids I am dragging Share along. The kids really want to fly somewhere in a big plane so we are planning to take a trip somewhere. They are really excited! I want to visit family and friends in Alaska, or we may go to Disneyland, I haven't decided yet.

This week I start the dreaded packing of my house. I am pretty sad I am selling it, but it will be better for me not to stress and work tons of overtime just to survive. Wish me luck, I will need it!

My many adventures with Share and friends...

2010-07-22T17:08:00.004-06:00

Share gave me a disc with many pictures from the past few years. It was so much fun looking through all of them!!!

New Moon :)
So excited to see it!

CHEESE This was the night I almost died roller skating....

In front of the temple in New York

This is at the Cloisters Museum in New York

I love the tug boat on the right!!!

At the top of the Empire States Building

I made Share take a picture of me in front of the building. My sisters know why!!!

Aren't we so cute in our hats???

My one request while we were in New York. It was WONDERFUL!!!

So cute

Pretending I have to pee

Cute little witches

In Vegas!!!

Share was not having a good day, so we ditched the half-marathon and went to Vegas instead.

Synchronized swimming :)

Dinner and Karaoke for Kara's birthday. Oh what a night!

For the second showing of Eclipse that day.

Quite a lot of fun things, makes me sad there are no fun vacations left this year. Oh, wait, I forget, we are heading to Forks, Washington in September. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Trek

2010-06-14T18:49:00.002-06:00

For Youth Conference this year we did a mini-trek, and it was so much fun! It was a crazy experience, and much much harder then I could have ever imagined. Our stake was mixed up into pretend families, and below is my cute family, the "Steeze's"

My cute neighbor family. I love these guys! Caitlin, Jill, Steve, and Precious.

Tate gets the award for "Best Tour Guide Ever." He was hilarious! I fell in love with him the first second he spoke, and he was wonderful for the whole trek.

This is our victory walk "home." We did the Trek at "This is the Place" monument, and they did a great job.

Our family was so much fun, and my boys were the best!!!

So many people go on Trek and talk about it FOREVER. Seriously, the experience was amazing. Many of the youth bore their testimony that it will change them forever. Leaders bore their their testimony that they will be changed forever. I hope to one day do a full trek when my kids get older so they can have a great experience as well.

cute pictures

2010-05-20T20:14:00.003-06:00

I finally transferred pictures from my phone to my computer and I thought these were super cute!!

This was the Saturday before Easter, we went over to June's for an Easter Egg Hunt.
Ahnika is always dressing up really cute.

Haydn and Nathan are best buddies.

Ahnika always dresses up Tori and Mekhia.

This was a hilarious attempt by Ahnika to "shield" Tori from the boys. Apparently the boys were teasing the girls too much, so Ahnika created a disguise. I have video of Ahnika describing the importance of each piece of the costume.

I did it...

2010-05-12T18:45:00.004-06:00

So I have wanted to get it fixed for a long time, after a long time of it looking like a varicose vein. On Friday Share went with me and yes Share, I will admit, I was a complete baby!!! It hurt really really really bad.

So it is over with. I didn't feel bad about it until my previous supervisor Nathan (whom I adore) told me I should get my temple recommend taken away. He was serious :( I am glad It looks better, since the tattoo guy told me it looked like blueberries before.

I'm So Excited!!!

2010-04-29T20:43:00.002-06:00

After 8 long and hard months of teaching gospel doctrine for Sunday School, I have been called to be the Young Women President for my ward. I am so excited!!! I love the Young Women in our ward, and there are so many fun activities the stake does. Now I get to be part of camp and Youth Conference and I can't wait!!! So I am already stressed over camp but I think it will be lots of fun! This will be my 4th year of girls camp so hopefully by now I am an expert, maybe. We are thinking of the theme: Daughter of a Heavenly King
now it is time to plan it! Wish me luck :)

One last thought for the day....

2010-04-01T20:20:00.002-06:00

I have not been to the "girl" doctor for a few years, so I decided it was time to go. I also want to get my thyroid checked and I needed my asthma prescription renewed. Might as well get it all done at once, right? Well, the last time I went my doctor was kind of weird about me not being on birth control. She kept suggesting I be on something so I wouldn't get pregnant. I finally had to tell her I am not sexually active!!!! Well, first thing before my big exam on Tuesday she asks me what birth control I am taking. I tell her I am not taking anything and she asks me, in a sarcastic way, "do you not care if you get pregnant?" For one thing, this is Utah! It is not uncommon for someone to not be having sex here!!! Plus, could you be a little empathetic to my feelings? I am glad she thinks I am cute enough to have a guy I guess, but still it gets a little old. And, I HAVE already been there, and lesson learned! So as she is starting the exam a thought occurs to me and I had a hard time not busting out laughing. I felt like asking her while she was in my nether-regions if she could see any cobwebs or dust in there. I mean, there hasn't been a lot going on in there for A LONG TIME and it doesn't hurt to check, right? I should have asked her.

That is one bad "A"

2010-04-01T19:50:00.005-06:00

Back in the day I got a tattoo. It was done super small, and should be a daisy but looks like a varicose vein. Share and I were discussing how I should fix it one day, and I told her I saw in an article where a girl gets a tattoo after every marathon she runs. Share mentions how we are bad a$$'S for running half-marathons. She then suggests it would be notty to get a tattoo that says bad a$$ so I should get a tattoo of an A, but have it be a badly drawn A. So when someone asks what it is I can say it is a bad "A" because that is what I am! ha ha.

Later Share asks me to go bowling with her and her team from work. After bowling we were all driving to Denny's seperately and next to us was Cole and his boyfriend Louie. We roll down our windows and I shout at Cole "hey, are you single? Want to go out?" He shouts: "no!" Of course I can't be rejected, so I shout "But I can make cookies. REALLY BIG COOKIES!!!"

Finally at Denny's, we tell everyone our really bad "A" tattoo story. Cole mentions to me that he is now expecting a really big cookie from me. Later Share and I make plans to make the cookie.

We buy the cookie dough and head to my house to make the cookie. Share keeps telling me it is not going to fit on the pan, but I tell her it is fine and she spreads the dough and puts the baby in my oven. Well, fifteen minutes later I smell smoke so I open the oven and see many different mini fires all over my oven. I panicked! Share assured me everything was fine, so we took the cookie out and decorated it for Cole with some really bad A's.

Share carefully drove the cookie very carefully to work the next day, where Cole received his cookie with a smile on his face

Share saved me my favorite really bad A.

So what do you think, should I get my tattoo fixed with a badly drawn A?

New Moon release...

2010-04-01T19:42:00.005-06:00

How do you know I am going to school? I do everything except homework! So with that being said, when New Moon the DVD came out I read on Facebook that there were going to be some special people showing up at a WalMart in South Salt Lake. I asked Share if she wanted to go and she was in! We show up at eleven thirty p.m. and wait in line with THOUSANDS of other people. There were 300 people who were waiting all day that were guaranteed autographs from the special guests, the rest had to wait in line. Well, Share and I may have kind of broken through a barricade. I got grabbed by a security guard, but Share was able to grab a copy of the autographed DVD, plus get some cool up close shots. It was so cool!!!! Eric, Angela, and Mike (their movie names) were so nice, and talked to the crowd for a while before the official midnight madness began. It was hot, late, crowded, and fun to have another Twilight/New Moon adventure with Share.

Random pictures...

2010-03-31T19:02:00.003-06:00

My friend Tina is the best party planner, and her daughter's birthday this year was at the Kangaroo Zoo.
Tori is such a great ball player!

Cute Tina, Tori, and her beautiful daughter Bella.

on a side note, Tina has never read Twilight :)

Tina gave the best gift bags, with chocolate bugs, a bug viewer, and plenty of plastic creepy creatures.

Nathan's birthday party was at Chuck E Cheese. Mom, Eve, and June's family came to have fun with us. The kids love it at Chuck E Cheese!

Nathan and Haydn are best buddies

Ahnika, Haydn, and Tori

Ahnika, Tori, and Mekhia

We have had a lot of fun so far this year!!! The kids keep growing, and getting cuter every day.

I love my little monkeys.

I love humiliating myself...

2010-03-31T18:49:00.003-06:00

One early Saturday morning, I was getting dressed for my 10 mile run. I knew it was going to rain, so I got out my cute blue sports bra to wear under my cute blue long sleeve shirt. Well, once I looked in the mirror I felt like a huge fat blimp. So, I tore off the blue shirt and in my frustration and sadness grabbed the largest white t-shirt I had. Once into the run I felt much better, happy to be getting exercise. It wasn't until mile two that it started to sprinkle. I looked down at myself and realized that yes, my white t-shirt was starting to get a little wet making it a bit see through. Continuing on my journey I came across several joggers, walkers, and a large boy scout troop all well equipped for the weather with jackets, umbrellas, and appropriate clothing. By mile five it was time to turn around to go home, and the rain began to downpour, turning into a snow storm soon after. And yes, by this time my white t-shirt was completely see through, clinging to my skin in a not pretty way. Well, as I tried to focus on not freezing to death and getting home, I sure did pass the scout group again. I have never seen so many eyes bulging from 12 year olds in my life. (I feel like I should pay for their counseling after seeing such a horrid sight). I was mortified. I still had a long way to go to get home still. Well, after I finally got home my body was almost frozen, and burning in places from where I got rubbed raw by my wet freezing clothes. It was quite the experience, and I am so sorry for all those poor people who saw me in a white see through t-shirt.

2X XTREME Boot Camp

2010-01-18T20:40:00.004-07:00

I am tired of being a yo-yo dieter, gaining and losing 30+ pounds every three months. So this year I am being extreme in my lifetime goals.

#1 No more Mountain Dew at work

(I am 3 weeks clean so far!!!!)

#2 No more failing half-marathons

(finish in less than 2 1/2 hours)

#3 No more fluctuating up and down so extreme

So a friend Lisa recommended fitness boot camp to Share and I. This week we started week three, and it is fantastic!!! At the end of the class I can barely breathe, my legs and arms feel like jelly, and by the next day I can barely walk. AND IT FEELS FANTASTIC!!! I realize how out of shape I am, and this boot camp has really helped me understand how important it is to be in shape. I want to be a fun mom, who can run around with the kids. I want to take the kids on vacation, and be involved with sports at school. So this boot camp has been a great and hard adventure. I am really sad it is almost over, and I am probably going to do it again next month to help me lose weight faster. So here it goes...half-marathon training starts next week!!!

Bob Ross Happy Little Runners

2009-12-11T22:09:00.003-07:00

Share wanted to do something different for 2010, so she assembled a group of twelve people together and we are going to do the Ragnar Relay. We will take turns running short distances, from Logan Utah to Park City Utah. The group also creates a team name, and we get to dress up, decorate our two vans, and have lots of fun!!! So Share came up with our team name, The Bob Ross Happy Little Runners. Then she came up with our logo, which I personally think is fantastic!!! Now it is time to lay off the Mountain Dew and get back to exercising. MD, I miss you already :(

My Little Angels...

2009-11-17T00:02:00.003-07:00

I have been focusing on being thankful this month for all that I have. Tonight, as I was working on homework, I was getting very frustrated. Needing a break, I change my music to something more uplifting and turn my lamp on; thinking its safe to turn it on now that the kids are asleep. Once my lamp is on, I can see my kids better, and can't help but think of how beautiful they are, and how blessed I am to have them. I know my Heavenly Father loves me so much, he knows I needed children of my own, so he sent them to me. They have been such a blessing to me and lately have been the only reason I wake up in the morning. I love them so much, and watching them sleep reminds me of the little angels they truly are, sent to earth to keep me happy. I sure do love my little angels.

I heart....

2009-11-09T22:00:00.005-07:00

To make up for my previous crabby post, I am being positive. So read about what I heart then feel free to share what you heart too....

I heart Ahnika, Haydn, Mekhia, their parents, Nathan, and Tori.

Plus the look on Mekhia's face is awesome!

I heart Kary in the background, Talesha, and I think my hair looks cute

I heart surviving half-marathons, and taking pictures with

Share, even when they do not turn out well

I heart my sister and her family

I heart my kids, they are so stinking cute!!!!!

I heart this dip...during the half marathon in St. George Saturday Nov 7, 2009

I heart Share, who hearts mullets then has the mullet chopped off

I heart my hillbilly brother

I heart really tacky life sized statues

I heart this cute boy, who wanted me to take his picture in front of the car

I heart my adorable daughter who puts on sunglasses and lip gloss for naps

I heart my daughter for making silly faces whenever I want to take her picture

I heart a lot of things....

Anyone want to share pet peeves?

2009-11-09T21:48:00.002-07:00

Lately I have not been my normal happy self and I just don't care. It seems I am sick and tired of people being whiney, which is not good but then again right now I really do not care. The problem I have recently is wishing people would just be happy for what they have. Facebook also makes me kind of angry, especially when people whine about stupid, stupid things. Its not that I feel my problems are worse than anyone else's, I just do not want to hear about other people's stupid petty problems. tonight is one of those nights where everything is getting on my nerves! On a happy note, the supervisor I have had for 6 months is finally not trying to fire me anymore. So today is the first day in a long time where I haven't felt like my job is in jeopardy. But my body hurts, my cat is tearing apart my entire house, and I have been doing homework all night so my kids are neglected and crabby too. I put the cat in the garage so I wouldn't kill her, maybe tomorrow she will run outside like she does and get hit by a car? So my pet peeve is I am tired of people who do not appreciate all they have. It is really hard to look around and find joy when you feel like everything is working against you. So on a positive note, I love my children. They are amazing, and even though they make me crazy once in a while I would be empty without them. I love my family and friends. People come in and out of our lives sometimes it is hard to appreciate them while they are around. I am thankful for my job, I can survive being a single working mother. That alone says a lot. So share our pet peeves, and don't forget to add a few happy notes as well. Love you!!!!

Ruby River, roller derby movie, village inn, share, kara, oh my!!!

2009-10-16T23:14:00.002-06:00

So have you ever heard of girls night out? Well, for me, EVERY NIGHT OUT is girls night out :) but recently Share and I have decided to quit jogging on Wednesday's and have fun instead. We have stayed up way late watching movies, eating good food, and laughing. Well on Wednesday we brought Kara along, (after several invites she finally came!). Share and I jog, Kara roller skates. She actually roller skates several days a week sometimes. Prior to seeing the show I joked that Share was going to try and talk me into joining a roller derby league if we saw the movie and I told her NO! (I almost died the last time Share and I went roller skating). So prior to the show we tried and tried to talk Kara into joining the ragnar relay with us in June 2010. Well, after a really fun movie about roller derby girls, and being way hyper in the almost empty theater (that explains the disco picture, there was a preview for a Michael Jackson show) Kara turns to us and says: "you skate, I will ragnar relay." So, after another crazy and laugh filled night at bille jean (pronounced Village Inn) we have decided to create roller derby names, and you may see us in skirts, fish net tights, with crimped hair. I LOVE GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!!!

I love Fake nails......

2009-10-08T22:01:00.003-06:00

they are so beautiful, my fingers looks skinny with long beautiful fingernails, and I love feeling girly. but....they cost way too much, i get so bugged when the ladies pretend they do not speak English when i explain i do not want them 6 inches long, and i can't pick ANYTHING!!!! my nose, zits, dead skin, pennies off the floor. the cons outweigh the pros, so now i get to spend a few days ripping the dumb things off.

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

2009-09-23T21:07:00.004-06:00

Once upon a time, Irene and Share worked with a crazy girl who called sick on EVERY holiday. Whenever Crazy was gone, Share and Irene would look at the calendar to see what holiday she was calling in sick for. One day, during an unusual sick day, Share and Irene realized it was Rosh Hashanah. Who knew Crazy celebrated Rosh Hashanah? Thus began an eleven year celebration for Irene and Share. First this holiday was special so we could remember Crazy and make fun of how psycho she was. Well, Friday while Share and Irene were confirming their plans for Saturday's celebration of Rosh Hashanah, Share informed me it celebrates the creation of man, and 10 days of repentance. I love men, and have repented due to men, so I was SO EXCITED FOR SATURDAY!!! The day started with a 3 mile jog, then to the zoo with my monkeys, Misty, and her monkeys. Then I met Share for Park City shopping, Fashion Place Mall shopping, and finally the Cheesecake Factory for their heavenly coconut chocolate cheesecake. It was the BEST ROSH HASHANAH EVER!!! and we celebrated the creation of man, then will repent for 10 days for eating that cheesecake. (that is how long it will take us to work it off)

Fun times in Idaho!

2009-08-24T20:15:00.003-06:00

Wow did we sure have fun in Idaho over the weekend!!

Saturday August 22nd Share, Misty and I did another half-marathon in Mesa Falls. It was very pretty, very late in the morning, and very hot! Plus 3 miles uphill almost killed us, but we survived. The highlight of the race was getting our goody bags in potato sacks. Only in Idaho!
All racers received free Huckleberry Shakes at a local restaurant.
Gotta love free food!
After the race Misty and I wanted to go home where we grew up, and visit some old friends.

My Grandpa Frislie was hilarious, and died when I was 9. I haven't been to his grave for a long time, so we stopped by. If you notice, my Grandma Frislie is still alive. Hmmm......

We went home to Roberts, where we grew up. The population has almost doubled since we were there! It has changed quite a bit too. The town grocery store, Broulims closed. Also our favorite gas station, Market Lake. It was sad to see them closed!

Misty really likes the Roberts sign

This is the warehouse my dad used for his business to wash rugs. It has been vacant for years, now my dad is storing treasures for when "times get rough".

Free junk anyone? There is plenty for everyone!!!

My grandma Wood canned a lot of food when she was alive, she died in 1985. Below you can see some of her canned items. My dad will not let anyone throw it away. Perhaps he thinks it can be used to poison enemies? Who knows?

My cute brother Alan got a trailer and is putting it on the 15 acres my dad still owns in Roberts. I hope Alan can handle my dad moving back to town. Alan has spent a lot of time trying to clean everything up. Just in time for my dad to bring more junk!

Misty and I also visited one of our favorite families. Kirk Polatis was our Bishop through the adolescent years, and his wife Judy was in Young Women's a lot and also our preferred camp director. Kirk is an amazing man, and Judy is probably the funniest, funnest person I have ever met. Seeing them again was the highlight of our trip back home. It was so good to reminisce of good days in the past.

I also miss being a country girl just a little bit. I think I am a country girl at heart, and I always joke I have a little bit of trailer trash still in me. It is true, I could be perfectly happy in a small town again. I would just need to make sure I had grass and a concrete driveway!

Ahnika

2009-08-15T21:05:00.002-06:00

Ahnika is June's oldest daugter. I wanted to steal her when she was born she was so cute! Now she is almost eleven and cuter than ever. Her mom and dad are involving her in plenty of acting and singing opportunities! She was in Annie earlier this year, and I practically cried the whole time I was watching it. So here is a video of Ahnika singing "Maybe" from Annie. She won 1st place at the fair, we are so proud! Love you Monkeygirl!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bk6d9rawMg

Nathan's 1st day of school and other pictures...

2009-08-14T21:20:00.007-06:00

I survived Nathan's 1st day of school! He wasn't nervous at all and was tired of me asking him questions about it.

I cried when I was bringing him to school but once we got there it was fine. His teacher has them line up outside then they walk into the school and parents are not allowed! This way the kids focus better once in the classroom, and parents don't hover and get in the way. His teacher is Mrs. Thacker, and she seems really sweet. Nathan likes her, and there are also 2 girls in his class that go to the same daycare he does. So far, so good!!!

Misty came to visit and we went to the "This is The Place" monument. I didn't know it was so much fun!

It is set up like a mini-pioneer village and you can walk through all the homes and businesses.

Aug 8th we went to the Nephi County Fair with June and her family

We went to the Demolition Derby, and the kids thought it was the neatest thing ever. June and I enjoyed it a lot more than we thought we would. The only problem was we experienced colder than normal temperatures and by 7pm we were freezing! Another highlight of the day was Ahnika placed 1st in the talent show. She sang "Maybe" from Annie and it was so cute! Everyone around us kept complimenting her on well she did. It was fun seeing her sing and then even better watching her win 1st. Ahnika, you are a babe!!!

Girls Camp

2009-08-06T20:49:00.004-06:00

The men in our Stake showing their "Frankenstein"

Steve, (on the right in a blue sweatshirt and glasses) was my bishop for two weeks when I lived in Alaska. He met with me and told me I was too young to be in a family ward and gave me the number of someone who took me to the singles ward. It was much better!!! Now he is married to Jill who I served with in the Stake YW Presidency. She is now the new Stake YW President and she is fabulous!!!!

Scott Winn built us "Tikki Grove" shown above. He brought all the rocks and made us a stage, with a beautiful fire pit in the middle. Then he brought trees down and layed them in rows for everyone to sit on. It acted as our mini amphitheater in the woods and it was beautiful, serene, and perfect!!!

Jennifer and Caitlin on the hike

Poor struggling girl, me, Brother and Sister Day on the hike

Brother Day (from my ward) felt so bad he carried her on his shoulders, UP THE STEEP HILL!!!

I am in the back hoping he doesn't pass out from the heat.

Girls camp was so much fun this year! I went as an assistant Stake Camp Director, and knowing this was my last activity with the Stake I was pretty sad :<

Since I just spent time uploading a bunch of pictures to the Stake Girls Camp website I figured I should blog about it.

Above is how we set up tents. The Stake Leaders all camped in the tent on the far left.
First day of camp, with the FABULOUS youth leaders!!!!

I talk about Scott Winn all the time, he is such a saint!!!! Here he is probably plotting some service project.

My beautiful ward doing their skit. The wards prepare a bag with random items, then bring them to give to other wards. The ward has to come up with a skit using all items in the bag. Our ward had a bunch of beauty products, so they made up an infomercial with beauty products that make you nice. It was hilarious!

The lodge built by men in our stake. My cute car is parked next to it!

Keanna, Shaylana, Talesha, Caitlin, and Talesha's friend. I love these girls!

This is the Spanish 5th branch. Every time I see any of these girls I am bombarded with hugs and kisses. They are the cutest, happiest, sweetest girls!

While we were preparing the canoe's we soon discovered mice in them. Scott decided to fill the canoe's with water then throw the mice at the youth leaders. It was hilarious! What was more hilarious was Maizy trying to save all of them and keep them together as a "family"

At the Stake Testimony Meeting almost every girl and leader shared something. It was an amazing week! I bore my testimony, cried my eyes out, and told the girls I was having a hard time letting go. I told them I felt like my heart was breaking since this was my last Stake Activity. Then I said it felt like every girl there, all 75+ of them, had broken up with me. And that is a lot of people to break up with me in one night! I sure do miss activities with the Young Women, but I am ready to move on to my next adventure. Sure Teaching Gospel Doctrine is not my idea of an ideal calling but at least I will learn something. Hopefully!!!!

Bryce Canyon Fun!!!!

2009-07-19T21:05:00.003-06:00

Share and I went to Bryce Canyon for the half-marathon and we ended up having a lot more fun than we anticipated! Share's friend from work Kara came with, along with Share's sister Collette and her two kids.

As you can see below, we had quite the karaoke moment. We sang "On The Bridge of Love" which is way more fun than singing ""On the Wings of Love"

After the half-marathon we hiked ALL OVER Bryce Canyon. It was incredibly beautiful and worth the sore muscles today. We were feeling pretty goofy, and Collette's kids were such good sports hanging out with a bunch of crazy girls!

We are such strong women holding up the rock. Below we were being goofy while hiking down. You can tell our energy wasn't gone yet.

We saw this t-shirt and Collette had to buy it for her husband. Her son decided to wear it home and he was the only boy in the group, we had to take some fun pictures. The shirt says:

Utah

We Share
So we are holding hands because even though we are all his wives we still all get along and can be friends. Ha!

The view while running the half marathon was amazing

I completely bombed another half marathon. Good news is I have 5 weeks to get ready for the next race in Mesa Falls, Idaho

My body is in so much pain I decided to update my blog since it hurts to do anything else but sit. My house is a mess but I can't stand up normal yet so it will have to wait a few more days. Overall, the weekend in Bryce Canyon was so much fun!!!!! Friday was fun driving down with Share, Collette, and Kara. We laughed hard and sang to lots of fun music. Saturday we were all hyper and took about 500 goofy pictures. My abs hurt from laughing so hard. Collette's husband is deployed overseas and doesn't want to go home to an empty house, and we were glad she came along with her two youngest kids. They were such good sports! Putting up with some interesting conversations, taking lots of pictures, and laughing with us all night Saturday. Can't wait for the next road trip!!!!

You Rock My World

2009-06-25T23:19:00.006-06:00

My mom taught her four girls to really appreciate music that makes you want to get up and dance. Our love for Michael Jackson started when we were old enough to talk, walk, and sing. We would record every music video every played on Friday Night Videos (from back in the day!) and watch them over, and over, and over. Oh how we loved Michael Jackson!

When I was the manager of Sam Goody in Norfolk, Virginia I met Damian. I hired him as a part time sales associate, and we were kindred spirits right away. We both LOVE Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson released his Album Invincible and Damian and I played the store promo copy all day long. We loved it! Plus our passion for the music helped sell a lot of copies as well. Apparently my store sold A LOT OF COPIES.

One day I get a call from a lady saying she is a representative of Sony and wanted to get my store location and info. She said she was sending me something in the mail. Because we were a music store I would get loads of these calls so record labels could send promo cd's to play. I didn't think anything of it, until this arrived in a large box weeks later:

Apparently, My beautiful little Sam Goody store (I hired all 13 employees and we put the store together from scratch, brand spanking new, in the middle of the 9/11 crisis) sold a record amount of CD's. I hung the plaque proudly in the store for a few months, until I was afraid someone was going to take it. I think Damian cried the day I took it home. Matt created a space for it on our apartment well and it hung there with pride until we packed up and moved back to Utah. Since then it has been safely wrapped in 15 layers of bubble wrap (Matt knew how much I treasured it). I took it out today and looked at it for the first time in a long while...I think it is time to hang it up again.
This is the first time I have actually cried over a celebrity who has died.
I don't even know how to put into words how weird it is he has died.
So thank you Michael Jackson, for creating music that makes me want to get up and dance. Thank you for the music video to "You Rock My World," and all the many other amazing music videos you have created.
I hope now, you rest in peace

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

2009-06-24T20:17:00.003-06:00

So yesterday was quite a fun day. I went to lunch with my BFF from high school, Joy.
Her little boy Colton, Tori, and her daughter Kali

Kali, Nathan and Tori

I don't really know how Joy will feel knowing I blogged about her, but you will get over it Joy, won't you? hee hee. Why would I blog about Joy? Because she has been through quite a lot for one person, and I am so proud of who she is. She suffered a lot when we were friends, and for a while I thought my sweet Joy would be lost forever. But somewhere through all the sadness, she was able to overcome everything and still be sane! Her husband of 14 years is finished with Medical School and ready to start a career as a Doctor. I am so proud of Joy and Derek, for being sealed in the temple, going to school forever, and raising four cute kids. Thanks for a fun lunch date Joy, it was fun catching up on all the good and crazy times!

I wanna be a ROCK STAR!

2009-06-15T21:47:00.003-06:00

Tori informed me tonight she is going to be a rock star when she grows up. She says Nathan can be a rock star too. While we were getting ready for our walk she started giving us assignments on what we could do to help her be a rock star. My job is to give her lots of sunglasses, play Hannah Montana songs for her, and paint her fingernails. Nathan can wear his sunglasses and sing Hannah Montana too, even though he is a boy. I am so excited!

Just a note to say goodbye...

2009-06-03T20:37:00.002-06:00

I have known this day was going to come for a long time, yet I still wasn't prepared to get released! It has been incredible working with Errin, Jill and Amber and I really miss them. We had some great experiences together, both spiritual and fun! I was the Secretary in the Granger East Stake YW Presidency for a little over a year, Amber was Stake YW President, Errin 1st counselor and Jill 2nd counselor. I am really going to miss these women a lot!!!! Plus I am ok with admitting I cried when we were released on Sunday, but in my defense I do cry over everything!

Guess who has a working camera and new baby laptop????

2009-05-26T20:07:00.005-06:00

Today we went to the Kangaroo Zoo with Misty and her kids. The kids get to run around like wild animals and Misty and I kept busy keeping track of where the kids were. Little Emily

Nathan

Tori and Madelyn posing. Madelyn sure was working the camera!

Tori, Elizabeth, Madelyn, Nathan and a boy who followed Tori around

Tori being cute

Nathan on the left and Elizabeth on the right.

The Kangaroo Zoo is definitely a great place to take kids and wear them out!! And I have to mention the cute yogurt shop next door because I think it is the greatest invention ever!!! I took the kids to Yogi Berry http://www.yogiberryutah.com/ and discovered the best frozen yogurt store! I get really tired of spending money on ice cream for the kids and having them waste all of it. Well, at Yogi Berry you pay by the ounce, and it is pretty inexpensive! The kids chose their own frozen yogurt flavor, and you fill the cup yourself. Then you choose your own toppings, with over 40 things to choose from! So I was able to give the kids a little yogurt, then give them four or five little topping choices without paying for each topping seperately. I of course had a frozen yogurt of my own, and paid under $5 for everything. So if you love frozen yogurt like my sister Misty and I do, you will love this place!

cute race pictures

2009-05-26T19:55:00.004-06:00

Share and I at Race for the cure. Share made these cute shirts for the half-marathon and we wil probably use them for a few more races! They are adorable, especially with Team Edward on the back and our names in glitter with a bedazzled i. For the Race for the Cure Share, Carin and I wore tube socks because they are so cute! Plus it was only a 5k so our feet wouldn't suffer too bad.

Share likes to grab my bum, and quite frankly I do not mind : )

I was trying to zoom in on the above picture so my bum didn't show but it won't work. I have no idea with that is on my bum cheek but the point is to look at our cute Team Edward shirts with our Cullen family crest wristbands.

Before the half-marathon when we were energetic and ready to run! I am excited for the next race so I can improve my time and be able to walk afterwards!!!!

Memorial Day fun!!!

2009-05-26T19:07:00.004-06:00

Every Memorial Day we meet at my Aunt Barbara's (along with Conference Sunday, 24th of July, Christmas Day). We have the best food, homemade root beer, and hang out with lots of family and extended family.

Above on the left is My Aunt Barbara, Gayle (an extended cousin) and Gayle's roommate. My Aunt Barbara is my moms older sister and her and her husband Darwin are practically saints, they are such good people!

My cute Uncle Darlin' with his new grandson.

My mom, sister Eve and Nathan. My cousins are in the background chilling in the kitchen.

On Memorial Day we have a candy rocket that shoots in the air. The kids have so much fun catching all the candy. Here are my cousins' kids with Nathan and Tori in front.

More Cousins, Aunts and Uncles

Nathan is posing, waiting for candy to fall from the sky. He is such a stinking cute boy!

Little Tori also waiting for candy to fall from the sky. We always have so much fun at Aunt Barbara's house!

First nice day of Spring, wish we would get another one!

2009-05-04T20:26:00.004-06:00

Thanks to Misty for updating my blog to a pretty background! It is beautiful!

A few months ago my friend Tina had a birthday party at the zoo for her daughter Bella and it was so fun! She had M&M'sprinted with Bella's name

Cute Tina with her daughter Bella
Nathan is being a bit whiney while petting a Chinchilla

Tori and Me

Nathan wanted me to take a picture of our feet together.

Tori petting and armadillo.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

2009-04-20T20:44:00.003-06:00

April has been such a crazy month! I went to Texas to see Tiffany and Adam, trained for a half-marathon, totally bombed the half-marathon, and un-officially became released from my calling as Secretary in the Granger East Stake Young Women Presidency. Today I received in the mail a package from Shutterfly. Tiffany had all our Texas pictures printed and sent to me directly from their website. I look at Share's blog to see she posted cute pictures of the half-marathon and I cried. Amber told me she wrote about me on her blog, so I checked the link and she also talked about the half-marathon. A year ago when I was set-apart as Secretary in the Stake YW Presidency, President Sorenson blessed me that I would have blessings poured upon me. I feel that is completely true. My blessings have not been in the form of money, a sugar daddy, or even a half-cute guy to date once in a while. My greatest blessings have been my kids, my family, and my friends. Thank you to all of you who have blessed my life in different ways. I am overwhelmed by how much love I feel from all of you! And if Misty has my camera ( I hope she has it) I will post the super cute pictures of us before the half-marathon and the fun shirts Share made. For now is a picture of the cute figures a friend Lisa Erickson made for Team Edward: Misty, me, Share, Bettie and Carin. Lisa and a friend held them up for us at mile 5. They were a pleasant surprise! Thank you again, for all you do.

Yes, I am asking for money : >

2009-03-09T19:41:00.003-06:00

This was after my first official run of the year... I ran/slowly jogged 4 miles. I thought I was going to die afterwards! I was worn out. This past Saturday I ran/slow jogged 6 miles and felt so much better! So this week I need to jog twice before Saturday, and my goal on Saturday is 8 miles.

Nathan had a bloody nose so I cuddled with him for a moment after, he was pretty sad. I love training for a half-marathon and love that I have Misty and Share to help motivate me. On Saturday I wake up, get my super fun jogging clothes on, get my music ready, and head out the door. My music list consits of: Matchbox Twenty, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Twilight Soundtrack, and much much more. I really enjoy this time to myself!

Misty, Share, Bettie and I are Team Edward for the half marathon. Share is making us shirts and I am really excited!!! Part of being Team Edward is we are joinning the Huntsman Cancer Institute to fight cancer. We need to raise $500 each before the race. So far Misty, Share and Bettie have donations but I do not. So I am not asking for much, even $5 would help me look like less of a loser! If you can follow this link....

http://www.huntsmancancerfoundation.org/netcommunity/TeamEdward

Click on my name, then on the right is a link in red: DONATE ON MY BEHALF NOW!

Thanks for your support!

Okay, I will give this a try...

2009-03-09T19:36:00.001-06:00

The first 3 people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations: 1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! 2- What I create will be just for you. 3- It'll be done this year. 4- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be a picture of myself, or a handmade piece of artwork for your living room. I may bake you something. I don't sew so no luck there. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! 5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who do the same on your blog. The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! LETS PLAY!

More nostalgic pictures of the past...

2009-03-03T20:44:00.004-07:00

Nathan holding hands with cousin Elizabeth.

Nathan giving Tori loves.

At the Treehouse Children's Musem

Haydn, Madelyn, Elizabeth and Nathan

In front of a glacier in Alaska. Do I look cute or what?

My dad holding Nathan.

Misty took this picture because Nathan is playing with a doll, and she knows Matt would not be happy about it!

Happy Birthday Nathan John Grahl!!!

2009-03-03T20:15:00.004-07:00

My little Nathan turned five on February 27th. I cannot believe he is getting so big! Matt and I had been married for almost three years when he was born. I have always wanted kids so having Nathan was a huge dream come true! Reflecting back on when Nathan was born it was definitely one of the greatest days of my life. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from when Nathan was little...

I love holding sleeping babies! If Nathan was sleeping I was holding him. Okay, when he was awake I held him all the time too. He was definitely spoiled and he slept ok at night too!

Misty was about to burst in this picture, and I still had 6 weeks left. You can almost see we are the same size. Aren't we so sexy? ha ha

Matt is a great dad. When Nathan was born he held him in the hospital so much I could barely get a hold of him. The last picture is one of my favorites. My mom was holding Nathan in the hospital and Matt was getting food in the cafeteria. When he came into the hospital room he looked at my mom and said "give my my boy!" He laid down on his cot to cuddle with him. I took this picture because my mom was whining that she wanted him back but Matt would not give him up! see, I do have one nice thing to say about Matt : )

Nathan is my little buddy, and I am a little sad he is getting so big! He continues to be a sweet boy and I am thankful to have him. Happy Birthday Monkey Boy!!!!

Time to start running again...

2009-01-13T21:48:00.005-07:00

The training has begun! This is Misty, Lisa, Share and I last year before the big race. We are excited to run in April! This year we are raising money for cancer research and have created a group: Team Edward. So follow this link: http://www.huntsmancancerfoundation.org/netcommunity/TeamEdward and support us if you can!

Happy Birthday Victoria Lynne Grahl!

2008-12-30T19:47:00.010-07:00

Tori was born December 21st, 2005

Nathan was not blessed as a baby, so when Tori was born they were blessed on the same day. My brother-in-law Rock blessed Nathan and my other brother-in-law Glen blessed Tori. Also standing in the circle were my Uncle Darwin, Uncle Bob, Shanna's husband Jess, and my cousin Kirk. Nathan was blessed to be a protector over Tori. He would be at her side throughout life and would always comfort her and be there for her. Already Nathan has taken the responsibility of watching out for his little sister!

We went to Chuck E Cheese the day before with June's family and Grandma Frislie. The kids love it, and especially love seeing their cousins! Along with Tori's birthday comes a lot of reflection on how Tori came to be...

Matt and I had been divorced for 6 months when I found out I was pregnant. Nathan was 1 year old and I was most upset about being a single mom with two tiny children! There was no chance of Matt and I getting together so it took a while to get over the shock. On my first 12 week doctor visit, they took my blood to check whatever they need to and gave me a due date of December 27th. A Christmas Baby! I went to work after the visit and soon received a voice mail that almost stopped my heart. The nurse said the baby tested positive for spina bifida or down syndrome, and she scheduled me an emergency ultrasound and a session with a genetic counselor the very next morning at LDS hospital. I called Misty sobbing, and she offered to come with me to my appointment. I was pretty sad that night, but decided it would be easier to raise a Down Syndrome child on my own rather than one with severe physical handicaps, so I was really hoping she had Down Syndrome.

The morning of the appointment, Misty and I went to the hospital hoping for the best. (Matt was not invited) First thing was the ultrasound with a nurse. Since I already had a little boy, I really really wanted a baby girl. I told the nurse I would give her fifty bucks if she told me the baby was a girl and she was! The doctor then came into the room and went over a few different scenarios with me, asking me if I wanted to do further testing to see if the baby had a definite disorder. I decided not to do any further testing and instead had to schedule frequent ultrasounds to check the baby for possible problems.

By the time I was six or seven months along, my little baby girl was growing well with no signs of any abnormalities. My doctor induced me December 21st, 2005 and Victoria Lynne Grahl was born at 10:30 pm weighing 8 lbs 8 oz.

I cannot imagine my family without Tori. Nathan is her protective older brother and loved her the moment he saw her. So Happy Birthday Tori, we love you very much!!!

A night to remember....

2008-12-08T20:38:00.011-07:00

I cannot even begin to express my anticipation for the "Twilight" movie to come out. I really wanted to go, so Share bought us tickets for Nov 22nd (Friday's show) so we could get good seats. I was so excited!!! Then I get a call from Amber, who decides to buy tickets for the premiere night, Thursday Nov 21st at 12:00. I was excited to see it even one day early. (Again, Share, I am really sorry but I could not wait!!) So Amber, Errin and I went together (Jill, the other member of the Stake YW Presidency decided not to go).

We were pretty excited to see the movie, and arrived at the theatre at 9:00 pm. We were there just in time, the theatre filled up fast! With three hours to kill, we bought our Coke's and laughed and joked until the movie started.

When the movie started I felt like I was going to cry! But with so much caffeine (and now needing to pee really bad but not wanting to leave the theatre in case I missed anything) we had a fun time during the show. I left feeling happy. The next night I saw it with Share, and was able to be more focused on the movie itself. I love it! I keep expecting for my obsession to wear off and it hasn't yet. So Amber and I saw it again for my third time, then the next night I went again with Share. I still love Twilight, love everything. Even though a few parts of the movie were a bit too cheesy, I am afraid my obsession continues. For now I am okay with it too!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's to mom's work we go....

2008-12-08T20:24:00.005-07:00

So the kids always want to visit my work, mainly because every week I drop them off at their dads work when it is his night to take the kids. Since dads work is super cool, they figured moms would be too. Once a year we have an open house where family is invited to attend. There are cookies, random activities for the kids, and fun drawings. I did win a free phone, so that was pretty cool.

Nathan and Tori had fun getting into all my stuff, pretending to talk to customers, and annoying all the people that were still working. It was fun for everyone!!

As we were leaving the building, Nathan says: "Mom, your work is fun. You have pop, candy, and even cookies!" Tori turns to me and says, "Mom, your work is very boring!!!" Yes it is Tori, yes it is!

I love Thanksgiving!!!

2008-12-08T20:06:00.006-07:00

Our Thanksgiving was a lot of fun! Misty and Glen brought their Disney Karaoke so everyone had some singing fun.

We even tried our dance moves with Disney Dance Dance Revolution

Getting food for the kids

June and Rock singing High School Musical... so romantic!

Nathan and Haydn singing Hannah Montana

My brother Alan came from Idaho, it was so fun to have him here!

One happy, crappy, family!!!

I Love To See The Temple

2008-11-30T21:49:00.003-07:00

This December will be my 2nd anniversary for going through the temple. I can definitely say these past two years have been the greatest learning experience. The future holds a lot for me, that is obvious but I am really excited. There is a song by the Barenaked Ladies~ Call and Answer and it is one of my favorite songs. The first lines of the song sums up how I feel right now: "I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again. It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends. I think it's the getting to the point that is the hardest part"

I had a close friend tell me once that when I married Matt she saw my light start to fade. The happy countenance was gone and I was a completely different person. For the first time I feel like I am myself again. I feel like my happy countenance is back. I can be myself again, and it feels great. The best feeling is knowing I have made amends, and I am finally ready to move on. It took four long years but I am finally myself again. AND READY TO MARRY A HOT MAN IN THE TEMPLE!!!!

I sure did rock with the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

2008-11-17T17:03:00.004-07:00

Saturday, November 15th I went to my very first New Kids on the Block Concert. It was amazing!!! I was worried I was going to cry because I was so excited. Sure I got a little emotional but mostly I screamed so loud my voice was gone. Share and I bought floor tickets fourteen rows back, and they were great seats. A few people came to my house before the concert to crimp our hair and get ready. Shanna purchased tickets the day of the concert and I was so excited she came! It was a great experience, and I still love New Kids. They were so stinking hot, danced well, and I could not take my eyes off of them!!!!

Shanna and I before the concert. Do you not love her side ponytail?
Share and I before the concert

Lisa , me and Share. Share's shirt says: "I put the R in Rad" Yes Share, you sure do!

Share and I rocking out to New Kids songs before the concert.

That is not Shanna's bra. We were going to throw it onstage but I forgot it. Darn!!! My camera died when we got to the concert, so I am waiting for Share to send me some. I sure will post some hot pictues of the boys. They are SO HOT!!! Share and I had fun watching other people enjoy the concert too. A girl next to us was feeling herself a lot as she watched the concert. If she was checking herself for signs of breast cancer....she did an awful lot of checking, all night long!!!

10 Things that make me happy

2008-11-02T19:19:00.006-07:00

010. Reading. Whenever I have spare time, I love to read. Usually I read church books or anything with a good story. Lately if I have free time I re-read my favorite parts from the Twilight series. Since I am still not over my obsession, at least it passes the time when I have no kids!
9. Good Food. What more can I say? I like food.
8. My reliable car. It is a great feeling to drive without stressing if I am going to fly off the road because my car hates snow as much as I do. I really love my car.
7. Music. Nothing is better than belting out your favorite song. I have many good memories with family and friends singing to some fun songs. When I am in a bad mood all I have to do is sing along to one of my favorite musicals and I am happy!
6. A really good laugh. I think laughing can cure almost anything. Friday night Misty and I were looking at magazines, and she pointed out an ornament for sale. The ornament was for a loved one who has passed away. You placed a picture of the dearly departed and underneath was this poem: "I love you all dearly, now don't shed a tear. I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year." I am still cracking up....
5. Exercising. Okay, I do not look like Jane Fonda but exercising really helps me stay happy. Lately I have been really nostalgic and I have lots of fun memories of exercising with friends.
4. My friends. I really do not think I can stress how much I love my friends. From friends back in high school, to people who have recently come into my life. I love you guys so much!!!
3. My family. Okay, apart from the crazy family members, the rest are pretty cool! Now I know many of you think that does not leave much, but remember family includes cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Ha ha! I really do love my family, and the memories we have will last forever. (Living in a bus will do that to a person.)
2. My children. I cannot talk about my children without crying. They are so amazing! Even when I am ready to freak out over something crazy they have done, they teach me what it means to unconditionally love someone.
1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Definitely the biggest blessing in my life is my religion. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me. I am thankful for the blessings I receive. Since I went through the temple my faith has grown and I know the church is true. I know this life is temporary and now all I need is patience to get through it...!!!!

FULFILLING LIFE'S DREAMS....

2008-10-02T19:14:00.003-06:00

I have never overcome my love for New Kids on The Block. Yes, I own all of their cd's. Yes I still listen to their christmas cd every year. And yes, GOING TO A NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK CONCERT IS FULFILLING ONE OF MY LIFELONG DREAMS!!!! Saturday, Nov 15th Share and I will be on the fourteenth row (floor seats) screaming and shouting like fourteen year old girls. I am so happy New Kids went on tour again. Now I have to work overtime to pay for the ticket, and to save money for a total dorky t-shirt. Yeah NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!! (hope to see you there Shanna!)

We love to swim!

2008-09-22T19:24:00.004-06:00

Misty found a great place for the kids to swim and play at in Bountiful... the kids love it! This is Nathan with cousin Elizabeth. Nathan loves the pirate ship, it has a few slides, a fun tunnel to climb through, and fountains all around it!

This is me training for the Olympics. Misty said my form was a perfect "10" but apparently there is more to diving than just climbing the ladder. The good news is I have a few years to perfect the rest! (ha ha) Nathan follows Elizabeth everywhere she goes!

Misty took this picture with her waterproof camera. I think it is such a cool picture! I am sad summer is over but look forward to next years swimming adventures.

cute and crazy kids!!!

2008-09-22T18:09:00.003-06:00

Here are some updates of the crazy kids...along with some pictures of cousins Elizabeth and Madelyn.

Thankful for life's little blessings

2008-08-20T21:17:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago the tire pressure indicator light turned on in my car, letting me know my tire pressure was bad in one of my tires. To me, this light meant I should see what is wrong when I feel like it. I was not too stressed about the tires and figured I would take care of it with my next oil change. I really love my Toy Rav4. I feel safe and secure in it with my children. So yesterday my front right tire started to look a little low, but since my day involved a lot of driving (fast on the highway I need to add) I did not take the time to have it checked. I took the kids to Lagoon, then took them to their dad, then drove around shopping for a while, then finally went home. Left for work this morning, made it to work without problem. When I left work at lunch to run some errands, I noticed the tire looked a lot worse. I finally decided to get it checked. I drove to a local tire store, and by the time I pulled into the parking lot my tire was starting to make some serious noise. The nice man at the tire store took my car in immediately and fixed it right away. Apparently a nail had punctured my tire and caused the damage. The amazing blessing of the day is this: my tire should have given out long before I took it in. Apparently the nail was not in the tire in a way to keep the air in, and at any time while I was driving it could have given in. Now my budget does not allow for replacing a tire, but my heart does not allow for anything happening to me and my children while driving a car with a bad tire. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father for watching over me, and thankful nothing happened yesterday as I was racing down the road taking my kids to their dad after a long day at Lagoon. My car is now in good shape so I can be comfortable again on the road. Lesson learned? DO NOT PROCRASTINATE ANY MORE! Also, I am thankful for a Heavenly Father always watching over me and my cute little kids.

2008-08-06T19:18:00.003-06:00

Okay, I am trying to get over my obsession but so far it is not working. I cannot explain my love for the Twilight series. All I know is after I finished Breaking Dawn I felt sad it was over. Stephenie Meyer is an incredible writer and book four is one of the best books I have ever read. If I ever met Stephenie Meyer I would give her a huge hug and thank her for introducing these crazy fictional characters to everyone. I keep reading my favorite parts over and over. I love this book so much! So for now my Twilight obsession will keep going, especially with the movie coming out December 12th. And thank you, thank you, thank you to Stephenie Meyer for creating such an amazing series!

MEMORIES!!!

2008-07-23T21:00:00.001-06:00

Here are the directions: 1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! 2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. :) If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments...

Reflection #2

2008-07-05T20:54:00.003-06:00

In the past few years I have seen many different shapes and sizes of my body. Sometimes I have been little and cute and sometimes not so little <> Lately I have been using Mountain Dew as a way to have a little happiness when I am at work or just really really grouchy. But recently I discovered another reason why I drink it so much...I think in life we always have little insecurities. In high school I always had zits, then I had a problem with lacking a personality. Now I am a divorced mother of two who is chubby. Being chubby is my security blanket. If I stay chubby, people will think there is reason why I am single, because I am chubby. It helps me feel better about the fact that I am single and alone. If I lost weight, then I would be skinny and divorced. In my mind, this is worse! There would really be no reason for me to be alone if I was skinny, unless something else was really wrong with me. So for me, my chubby body and Mountain Dew addiction keeps me from being depressed about being alone. A few months ago, I ran my first half-marathon with my sister Misty, her husband Glen, and friends Share and Lisa. I started to lose weight and freaked out. I felt exposed to a meat market dating world and could not stand it. So I doubled my dose of Dew and gained an additional twenty pounds. This month I am going to work on not feeling like a loser anymore. I want to be healthy, so I can keep up with my crazy kids. I want to run with Misty and my friends without having to take a rest between each mile. Last of all, I want to be rid of my insecurities and start living a confident, happy, healthy life.

Time for some reflecting...

2008-07-05T20:34:00.002-06:00

This month I have been reflecting a lot about life and the past. I have a great family, great friends, and a religion that helps me stay sane throughout life. Then I look at my beautiful children, who are a constant joy in my life. Most of the time they are the only happiness I have. What would I do without them? My little Nathan helped me get through one of the hardest times in my life. I would not recommend divorce for anyone, but for me it was necessary. Then along came Tori. I sometimes wonder if Nathan needed her as much as I did, so along came my little after divorce surprise. I do not regret my children, I only wish I would have waited until I was sealed in the temple to a man with morals, values, a brain, and common sense. I really love my little monkeys and I am very thankful for the joy they bring to my life.

2008-06-23T19:18:00.002-06:00

For the first time we have season passes to Lagoon! I think for a while I was more excited than the kids. They freaked out on a few of the rides at first but now we have lots of fun.

2008-06-23T19:06:00.002-06:00

There are very few people I trust with my kids. I always want to make sure my kids are safe and in good hands. Sad to say my trust babysitters Joslyn and Dalen are moving away from us. The kids really love them so I am in mourning this month. Nathan fell asleep one night on Dalen's lap it was so cute! So Joslyn and Dalen, we will really miss you!

2008-05-15T19:50:00.002-06:00

Nathan and Tori like doing things their own way. Twister is played with all parts of the body, as Nathan shows. Tori likes putting on her own make up and does not like mommy to wash it off! During a recent zoo trip I caught a cute picture that looks like Nathan is kissing the tiger.

2008-05-13T21:55:00.002-06:00

Nathan always has to make a funny face for pictures. This picture was taken on Tori's second birthday. We went to Chuck E Cheese with their cousins and had lots of fun. The kids love Chuck E Cheese so much we will have to celebrate every birthday there from now on.

2008-05-13T21:54:00.000-06:00

A cute picture of mom and Tori having fun together.

2008-05-13T21:50:00.002-06:00

These are my beautiful children on Easter Sunday. Victoria (Tori) did not want her picture taken. Nathan is always willing to do whatever his mommy wants.